17th March 2012 (Mirren’s 2nd post)

17^th March 2012 (Mirren’s 2^nd post)

Hi everyone again

Lots to talk about, but really too busy to put it all down. Been up in Brora with Ewen, Magnus and some friends. Had a great time. Ewen was hitting a ball round some lovely green running tracks.

Magnus tells me this is Golf. Apparently Ewen is very fond of it. I am apparently like Pam, and would prefer a long walk but there’s no accounting for taste. I did, of course, when off course (ha-ha) rule the house. I’m much too gorgeous to be ignored really. I know it’s Magnus’s who gets most of the attention, since he’s so big, but once I snuggle up to people they are like putty in my hands. And who says blondes have more fun. Not me.

Pam’s been coming home when it’s still light and she’s been out on walks with us. We've been on some great walks, through the woods, at the back 0f Thirlestane Castle. I like this arrangement and try and stay close to her. We girlies have to stick together.

We went to Gullane beach yesterday. I had some really great runs with Pam. Actually they were more like slow trots, as far as I’m concerned, but I mustn’t moan.

She is getting on a bit. I pretended I was jogging with her. Magnus was busy playing “Stick” with Ewen. I let him do this for a while. He really is rubbish at running and I win every time so it was nice for him to have some time on his own. I do try to be nice sometimes.

I even try to smile when Ewen takes pictures. On the way back I scented something different before I saw it. I just knew it was of interest to me. Quite big, bouncy, brown with a white bum. Ewen was quicker than Pam or Magnus. He saw it too. I did try running fast, but I was tired after my jogs and runs and walks. Pam was very relieved. I had, apparently, seen my first deer. She was glad I gave up but I think she was very proud. I am, after all, a Deerhound. What was I meant to do? Cuddle it?

I'm Mirren a Scottish Dear Hound my 1st post....

My name is Mirren and I was born in October 2010, in Ayr. My Mum was called Tilly and I had seven litter-mates. All was well, untilJanuary 16^th 2011. Some of my brothers and sisters had already left. Two people came with a very large, cream dog. He wasn’t in the least interested in me. He was, on the other hand, very interested in my Mum.She wanted nothing to do with him and kept running away. I have a feeling she had enough of men and puppies. Anyway, these were my new owners, Pam and Ewen. I had to go with them now. I was very proud of myself. I sat on Pam’s lap the whole way to my new home. I wasn’t sick and I loved looking out the window. I really wanted to wave a paw at people as we passed by but I don’t think anyone would have seen me I was so little.

I had a new bed and lots of people came to see me that first night. I also found out Ewen had a studio. Now this is a place where people get their pictures taken. It was on that first night I discovered I have a talent for posing. I saw some red velvet and just posed. Pam draped me in a fetching ruby and diamond collar. I looked fabulous.

It was downhill all the way from here for the next few weeks. No one told me I had to go outside to the loo. I would go outside and play with Magnus (the Big guy’s name) and then come in and wee in my favourite places in the kitchen. My absolute favourite place to pee would be on a bed. There’s something really plush about the softness of a downie on your undercarriage. It has the added advantage of soaking up all the wet. Great. Unfortunately, no one else saw things from my point of view. I continued with this practice for several months in the hope I could convert them. But, no, it wasn’t to be.

And now to the Big Guy. Magnus is a wolfhound. He is HUGE. Now most dogs would be worried by his size but I quickly realised he’s a total Woose. He is scared of everything. People, the Hoover, new toys, things!! As a young girl I knew I was on a winner with the bossing thing. I can do anything with him. I can wrap him round my fore claw and he won’t raise a paw in protest. He loves it when I chew his lip or his ear and only gets grumpy when he’s asleep or when I give him a good nipping. I am a Deerhound and should be quiet by I have also discovered the power of barking. I regularly give Magnus a good woofing. He pretends to ignore me but I know I get through eventually. Men need to know their place in this world. Don’t tell him but I do love him to bits. He is my big protector. He lets me cuddle in when I’m tired and he always lets me have the best toys. He tries to catch me when we play but he hasn’t a chance. I am a lot lighter and much faster than Big Boy.

High Bentham

I have discovered holidays. We go in the mobile kennel and Ewen drives us somewhere with new smells. This was my first holiday and I was very good. I didn’t pee in the house and only had a little chew at the sofa. Actually, I was too tired to do much. We found this amazing walk in a place called Ingleborough. Magnus NEARLY went in the water. He’s not one for getting his feet wet. I went into my first pub. Of course Magnus pretended he’d been doing this all his life. He just chilled out on the floor, had a drink or scrounged ice cubes. For some reason or other Wonder Dog seems to get all the attention. I’m sure if people actually looked closer they would see how much better looking I am. It’s his size that does it. People can’t get past his big paws, his big eyes, his big face. Women, of the two-legged variety, want to have hair his colour. Personally I can’t see why. Pam is very close to him in hair colour. I am dark, curly, grey. If Ewen had more hair he might me more like me. I frequently check myself out in the mirror and I think I am very attractive but he keeps getting the attention, Magnus that is, not Ewen. I even watch Pam putting on her make up in the morning to see if I can beautify myself too. I usually try not to laugh and sometimes I have to get off the bed and leave. Bless, she tries her best.

Cotswolds.

Okay this is really ridiculous. We are on another holiday. This time to the Cotswolds. Great walks and a fabulous, very dog friendly, pub. We visited Stow-on-the –Wold, Bibury, Stratford-on-Avon ( Why are so many English towns hyphenated?) At all of these places Magnus stopped traffic. People wanted their picture taken with him. I was MORTIFIED. Here I am, a good-looking bit of stuff and EVERYONE wants Magnus’s picture. Fantastic. What can a girlie do? Generally I just sat down and tried to look as if I was above all this paparazzi stuff. Got my own back in Bourton-on the-Water (see what I mean?) A car did a U turn and stopped in a wee ford. A woman jumped out and shrieked about how beautiful I was. Okay she had a dog that looked a lot like me but smaller. Obviously not a full pedigree Deerhound, but close. I felt I had one back then. Of course, Magnus had to go one better and the next day he caused an accident. Some woman was walking backwards, wittering on about how he was magnificent and that she had to look at him again, then she fell off the pavement and did her ankle in and hurt her elbow. I could not show any sympathy for her or for Magnus’s embarrassment. We also met Pam’s sister. Linda looks more like me. Tall, dark, elegant. Obvious taste. Pity In couldn’t get more time with her. She’d buy me a diamond collar.

February

I am no longer a puppy. Just had my first season. Pam put pants on me but I took them off very quickly. I am NOT going out looking like that. It was all very easy. Pam kept asking me if I needed a hot water bottle and did I feel weepy or bad tempered. Did feel in need of a lot of affection but that was about it. Even Magnus was nice to me. That was until the other day. I decided to give him a good woofing when were out on a walk and try to get him to chase me. He wouldn’t do what I wanted him to do so I kept yapping away. All of a sudden he lifted his paw, his BIG, HUGE paw and decked me one across the chops. I was barkless. Stunned. Didn’t know what to do. I quickly checked that no one had seen the event (only EWEN) and really woofed at him again. He can’t get away with behaviour like that. No one paw slaps Mirren without trouble! Ignored him for the rest of the walk. He’s not getting away with that. I’d bite him on his tender bits but he hasn’t any. Ah ha. He’s been done. No balls!! Serves him right.

I miss Monty ....... ( Magnus's 5th post)

I realised something was wrong with Monty when he started to pee blood. I did think he smelt differently too. He could still run away from me but not as fast. Ewen was awfully sad and Pam kept whimpering that it was so unfair so soon after Morgan. We went to the beach one day. It was snowing heavily. We ran about on the sand and Monty ran about in the sea. I was still not sure of it and he tried to get me to go in. He told me a lot that day. We ran on the beach and chased each other over the golf course. Then we ate raw venison. Pam thought this would be good for Monty and that he was, after all, mostly Deerhound. I wasn’t that taken with it. Too gamey. Better cooked. We even had our picture taken in the dunes, both of us wearing our coats. He died a week later.

I miss Monty, even though he ignored me most of the time. Life became a lot quieter. I had the couch to myself for a while: and the studio couch: and the bed. Bliss. Then one day my life changed dramatically. Mirren arrived. Now I totally understand why Monty was so pissed off when I arrived. He was no longer in complete dog control.

From the word, “Go” she took over. Typical woman. Knows best about everything. Despite what I have said previously, I had really listened to Monty even though I’d pretend not to. There are a few things he said I’m still not sure about, like that water is great fun, but so much makes sense now I’m older. But he didn’t have to live with a GIRL, a bitch to be technically correct. I miss the brotherly chats with Monty. He was a font of knowledge. She just doesn’t share. She just yaps that, “It’s different for girls.” What does that mean?

The first thing was the toilet. She doesn’t lift a leg in the chummy fashion dogs do. She squats, on the bed, the spare bed or the couch. Whichever gives best drainage for her uses. I know I took a while to get the message about peeing in the house but this is just ridiculous. I have tried to be a good big brother but she just ignores me. I think she thinks I’m a bit slow.

Mirren took over the couch corner. She is exactly like Monty in the way she lounges. She has taken over the studio couch. She would take over the bed if she could. She pretends she likes getting her coat brushed. She does that whole nose in the crotch thing Monty used to do. She sucks up to EVERYBODY. There are times I just ignore her. I feel as if bits of Monty have returned but in female form. She is such a drama queen. If people pay attention to me she gets annoyed. She wants all the attention and she gets so temperamental if she doesn’t get it. Ewen tells me this is typical female behaviour but I just don’t understand. No matter what I do it is just never good enough for her. I even made the supreme sacrifice and had the snip. Did she thank me? Not a woof, not a sniff, not a whimper. Just raised her nose like a duchess and wandered off.

The holidays in Yorkshire and the Cotwolds were the perfect example of a bitch with her knickers in a twist. People thought I was particularly outstanding and wanted pictures taken with me. Personally, I feel I am entitled to privacy. I have never courted fame. I have never had my phone hacked. I don’t like being touched by fans. I like to pick my friends, preferably once I get to know them better. Mirren, on the other hand, would be happy to pose with anyone. She definitely has dreams of a doggie “Hello” spread. In her dreams!!

I try to be a gentleman and live up to the ideals of “Good Dog” behaviour handed down by Monty. Recently she’s been really odd. She follows Ewen every -where, she’s not eating and leaves her food. This is very difficult for me because I’m not allowed to eat it (wheat) but it’s THERE. She can be grumpy and keeps chewing parts of me. She wants Pam and Ewen to stroke her all the time. She’s not allowed to run about with me, Ewen keeps her on her lead. She’s just been odd. However, the other day I had had enough and felt it was time to assert myself. She would not be quiet. All I wanted to do was have a walk, sniff the messages left by other doggie travellers, and cock a leg over some heather. Mirren was in my face all the time. In the end I lifted a paw and gave her a gentle tap on the cheek. Well that went down well! I have a distinct feeling she may have something in store for me!! Thank goodness she’ll only get this much of a bite on the bum, once in while. I just don’t understand. And thinking back, Monty wasn’t much help on this subject. No clues or direction at all. I must look back on our Blog in case I’ve missed something. Maybe I should let Mirren see it. I don’t know if she can understand it yet but I’m sure she’d realise that all dogs have to settle down, become part of the pack, get on with each other, stop peeing in the house and make the “Two Legs” do what we want………within reason.

Monty in May

Oh Good Grief! The boy’s a lunatic. Scared of tadpoles. Scared of the TV. Scared of the TV’s reflection. Scared of his own reflection in the window and in the mirrors on the fence outside. If you’d seen him dipping his paw toes into the pond you’d have howled with laughter. Then, just as he was getting a bit better, he sees the tadpoles and exits the pond shaking his paws. I couldn’t stop laughing.

I’ll be having a quiet little snooze in front of the telly and he’ll come in barking wildly at it. Pam and Ewen try to tell him it’s okay. Then he turns round and starts barking at the TV reflection in the window. The mirrors on the back fence are ridiculous. He stands barking at himself until Pam or Ewen tell him to be quiet. I’ve tried to tell him it’s his own reflection but he’s convinced it’s another dog. I give up. Okay, he was brave when we had thunder and lightning the other night. I don’t like it, I have to admit. I used to be fine but then Morgan told me the sky was falling in and I got scared. Morgan was always looking for a safe place to huddle so if the sky fell in he’d be okay. I did mention the sky was falling in to Magnus but either he didn’t hear me or he doesn’t know what the sky is yet. The latter is probably the case. He’s been a bit slow at picking up on things he’s not interested in. Always wants to do things his way, won’t listen to advice.

Magnus has also started stealing my favourite spots. Now, obviously, we are both big dogs, so we like the same sorts of comfort areas. However, I do wish he’d find his own places and stop stealing mine. The couch in the wee sitting room has been mine for eight years and this upstart comes in and takes it off me. The couch in the studio is the same. And he has the audacity to get up on the bed in the early hours of the morning. It’s just not good enough! Insubordination I call it.

And then there are the glasses……………….I cannot speak because this is due to Pam and Ewen, but really. Sunglasses for dogs! What next? I certainly won’t be walking closely to him if he’s wearing them.

Magnus in May

It’s been a while since I put my thoughts of growing up down. It’s been a bit of a month or two. First of all She went away. (She is called Pam, Monty assures me) She went to Spain. Some big hill blew up and it meant She couldn’t get home. She and some friends drove across Spain and France to get a ferry home. Anyway, when she got back Pam started working on what was causing my itchy eyes. We’ve narrowed it down to wool, bark chips and pine trees. Now I have to have a cotton pillow stuffed under my head if I lie down anywhere. They’ve lifted the big, soft woolly rug in the bedroom and retiled the kitchen. Not only that they’ve patioed the garden and put pebbles down instead of bark. Life is no fun. Can’t dig up the garden anymore, can’t chew the carpet and rub my nose along it and I’m not allowed to scratch myself along the walls or the furniture. I keep getting my face washed as well. That’s great and I enjoy that. I’m not nearly as itchy now and I’m not taking so many pills.

Had a strange experience the other day. We were walking on the golf course (Ewen’s favourite place) when we came to this big watery pond thing. Monty went straight in and started showing off, splashing about. I was about to do the same when something moved in the water. There were lots of these funny little black things moving about in there. I wasn’t having that. Removed my paws immediately. They might bite. Monty thought it was very funny and rolled about in the grass laughing. I suppose he might have been trying to dry himself off a bit but I don’t think so. I was quite hurt. He forgets I’m much younger than him and haven’t seen what he has. Don’t know what they were. And then, later on, Ewen told everyone I was frightened of tadpoles. I don’t know what are tadpoles are but I’m sure I’ll find out one day. Seems I’m scared of a lot of things. There’s this big flat thing in the house and sometimes things start to move around on it and it gets noisy. It’s quite bright and it can be scary too. Then there’s Grant and the man next door. I give them regular good woofing but I try to keep away from them. I like lying at the window and looking out. If anyone goes past they get woofed at too. It’s a bit different if they come into the house but from the outside I’m sure I look tough.

Then there are the Doggles. Because I keep scratching my eyes they’ve come to the conclusion I have a contact allergy. So I’ve got a natty pair of Doggles. Now, to save myself feeling like a total berk, these are issued to dogs with the American army, in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our eyes get damaged by UV rays just as much as humans, and the sand and grit must be a pest so they get to wear their Doggles. They look cool and tough. I personally think I look great and look much like some famous cartoon dog who drove a car. Monty just laughs. He’ll grin on the other side of his muzzle when he gets something in his eye.

I’ve been out for longer walks now. Not really long walks, like Monty has but I’m getting to stretch my legs a bit. Uncle Gavin has been really good with my training. He used to be police dog trainer…………..think I’ve mentioned this before. I’ll sit, lie down, fetch and leave now. I do this because treats are generally involved. I’ve also stayed with Ray and Lexi for a few hours. Lexi says I have to stop looking at her as if she was a bone. I like sitting in their garden, looking over the fence, at all the other dogs going past. If they come too close they have to get a woofing but most don’t come near. If Gloria’s there she’ll rush over to say hello. She comes to the beach with us. Pam gave her one of my bones recently. It was as big as her. She kept annoying her people by burying it and then digging it up. I think it was where she buried it that was the problem.

There is a big dog in the back garden. He always looks right at me and always barks at me the same time as I woof at him. I must be brave because he always goes away and never comes into the garden. When I go back into the house he goes away. I think he’s too scared to come into the garden because I’m brave.

I was braver than Monty the other night. We had really big, flashing lights then a really loud noise. I just though it was Ewen dropping something again – he does that a lot! Monty was beside himself. Kept trying to get into a wee space. Shook. Ah-ha! He’s not so brave after all.

Magnus 4th post

Friday 2nd April

Something terrible happened today. I was still a bit itchy so They decided to do something. She had a big bowl of hot water. It's the bowl They sometimes get into. I drink out of it occasionally. They put me in. It was awful. I tried to get out but it was slippy and I just kept sitting down. This let Them wet me and put stuff on me even more. When They let me out I thought I'd better get my own back. I ran up and down against the walls and the furniture. She wasn't too pleased. Monty had been avoiding all this. He was quite shamefaced but he did give me a tip. Stood in the middle of the room and shook. Water everywhere. Very pleasing. Even Monty looked on with admiration.

Lesson 14 : Keep out of the bathroom when there is water present. Monty says he's told me this already. Don't remember.

Wednesday April 7th

Had a stay over at Ray and Lexi's. They went to a concert and we stayed with R and L. They have a big garden to play in and they let me use their arms and legs as chews. It was great fun. Was very tired by the end of the night when we went home again.

Lesson 15 : Sleep overs are a lot of fun. You get to sleep in strange places and chew stuff.

Thursday April 8th

The window cleaners came today. Gave me a bit of a fright. Had to subject them to a good woofing but all that excitement meant I had a little accident. Ashamed. Had to go lie down.

Lesson 16 : Beware of getting overexcited on a full bladder.

Friday April 9th

Monty is showing off again. He got a postcard from his Dogparents. Blah! Blah! Who has time to sit down and read when there's so much stuff to chew. back at the vet's. Still itchy. She says it must be something in the garden. That or I'm peeing on my paws.

Monty's 2nd post

Thursday 25th March

Ewen wasn't very happy today. We have a beautiful castle and grounds in Lauder. We went for a walk there because it was so wet. A man in a big four wheel drive went right through a big puddle and we all got soaked. Ewen said words that I can't repeat. Fortunately Magnus didn't hear them. He had water in the ears and was busy shaking his head. The man never stopped or apologised. Think he might have meant it. Anyway, he had a really interesting name. Made my ears perk up with the thought of a good chase.

Monday 29th March.......

Went to the beach again. Gloria came too. She’s losing a bit of her extra weight. She’s having to take pills and this is adding weight. Like most women she wants to look good. The little guy is getting much better in the water. He’s not running away so much. I feel responsible for this. I’ve tried to set a good example and be a role model. I feel that Pam and Ewen have certain expectations of me since I am now the elder dog. We went to the market later and I have to admit he did behave well but is becoming a bit big headed. He plays up the timid act to get attention. I’ve tried to tell him that attention seeking behaviour becomes boring but he won’t listen. In fact he doesn’t often listen at all.

His scratching has also becoming annoying. I had to get up, out of my bed, last night because he woke up Pam and Ewen with his scratching. I do think he’s got an itch but he really is milking it now. Basically I think he gets scared at night. He really can be immature. I was sleeping in my own bed, the couch, when I was half his age. He is picking up on some commands well. He will 'sit' and now 'fetch' and 'leave'. Gavin, the police dog handler has been giving Ewen tips. Poor Gavin has just lost one of his police dogs, Sam. Sam was a police sniffer dog. Loved his work. These dogs should get medals. Don't know how Ike, his team mate, will be. They worked together for years. He's bound to miss him. But then, maybe they just rubbed along, like Morgan and I.

Tuesday 30th March

Have decided to have a day in bed...apart from walks. All this disturbance at night, by The Boy, is making me very, very tired. It gets more difficult to cope with as you get older. I am nearly eight, which is in mature years for a dog like me. I like my walks with Ewen but I really do like my sleeps.

Wednesday 31st March

It's snowing again. Magnus loves it. Pam is fed up because she wanted to go to Edinburgh. Ewen is fed up because he has to walk us in it and it's still a blizzard. I'm fed up with it because it gets stuck in my paws and they hurt and there is never anything to chase because they are all hiding. Ray and Lexi think we're joking because they are coming home from a very hot place and we've told them they might be struggling. Pam's worried about all the wee lambs that won't survive and all the extra hours the farmers will have to work. Ewen is worried about his testicles which Magnus decided to give a wee nip last night. The boy really doesn't have the sense he was born with......maybe he wasn't born with any. This would, in fact, explain a lot about him. I am returning to bed. it's the warmest and safest place!

Friday 2nd April.

Serves him right for not listening. Off he went and was all chummy in the bathroom. Ha! Ended up in the bath. I kept well out of the way and wouldn't even make eye contact with Pam or Ewen just in case I ended up in there too. I did feel a bit sorry for him later though and told him about shaking vigorously in the house. He did. I feel I have won some respect for this piece of advice. The young chap has gone remarkably curly since the bath. Looks as if he was going to Crufts or something.

Thursday April 8th

Relaxing after a night out at Ray and Alexa's. They have fabulous accommodation. Great couches. Big garden. Magnus became a tad over excited but coped fairly well. Just a bit juvenile. Anyway the window cleaners came today. I usually just ignore them. Magnus went woofing and bouncing about. All that jumping up and down meant he dribbled on the carpet. He really needs to learn to properly empty his bladder when he's out. He gets distracted by birds or noises and doesn't finish. Ah well. What do I know?

Friday April 9th

Received a postcard from my Dogparents Lorna and Stephen. They've been on a holiday in Comrie. They always send me a postcard. Never forget. It was of a furry thing. It was in the water and had no ears. They address my cards to Gordon because that is, of course, my middle name. Magnus was very interested but he can't read properly yet. It's not that he can't read, it's just he won't sit still long enough. He'll miss out on the classic stories about dogs, Call of the Wild, White Fang, Rinty, Marley and Me. One day he'll settle, I'm sure.