Monty's 2nd post

Thursday 25th March

Ewen wasn't very happy today. We have a beautiful castle and grounds in Lauder. We went for a walk there because it was so wet. A man in a big four wheel drive went right through a big puddle and we all got soaked. Ewen said words that I can't repeat. Fortunately Magnus didn't hear them. He had water in the ears and was busy shaking his head. The man never stopped or apologised. Think he might have meant it. Anyway, he had a really interesting name. Made my ears perk up with the thought of a good chase.

Monday 29th March.......

Went to the beach again. Gloria came too. She’s losing a bit of her extra weight. She’s having to take pills and this is adding weight. Like most women she wants to look good. The little guy is getting much better in the water. He’s not running away so much. I feel responsible for this. I’ve tried to set a good example and be a role model. I feel that Pam and Ewen have certain expectations of me since I am now the elder dog. We went to the market later and I have to admit he did behave well but is becoming a bit big headed. He plays up the timid act to get attention. I’ve tried to tell him that attention seeking behaviour becomes boring but he won’t listen. In fact he doesn’t often listen at all.

His scratching has also becoming annoying. I had to get up, out of my bed, last night because he woke up Pam and Ewen with his scratching. I do think he’s got an itch but he really is milking it now. Basically I think he gets scared at night. He really can be immature. I was sleeping in my own bed, the couch, when I was half his age. He is picking up on some commands well. He will 'sit' and now 'fetch' and 'leave'. Gavin, the police dog handler has been giving Ewen tips. Poor Gavin has just lost one of his police dogs, Sam. Sam was a police sniffer dog. Loved his work. These dogs should get medals. Don't know how Ike, his team mate, will be. They worked together for years. He's bound to miss him. But then, maybe they just rubbed along, like Morgan and I.

Tuesday 30th March

Have decided to have a day in bed...apart from walks. All this disturbance at night, by The Boy, is making me very, very tired. It gets more difficult to cope with as you get older. I am nearly eight, which is in mature years for a dog like me. I like my walks with Ewen but I really do like my sleeps.

Wednesday 31st March

It's snowing again. Magnus loves it. Pam is fed up because she wanted to go to Edinburgh. Ewen is fed up because he has to walk us in it and it's still a blizzard. I'm fed up with it because it gets stuck in my paws and they hurt and there is never anything to chase because they are all hiding. Ray and Lexi think we're joking because they are coming home from a very hot place and we've told them they might be struggling. Pam's worried about all the wee lambs that won't survive and all the extra hours the farmers will have to work. Ewen is worried about his testicles which Magnus decided to give a wee nip last night. The boy really doesn't have the sense he was born with......maybe he wasn't born with any. This would, in fact, explain a lot about him. I am returning to bed. it's the warmest and safest place!

Friday 2nd April.

Serves him right for not listening. Off he went and was all chummy in the bathroom. Ha! Ended up in the bath. I kept well out of the way and wouldn't even make eye contact with Pam or Ewen just in case I ended up in there too. I did feel a bit sorry for him later though and told him about shaking vigorously in the house. He did. I feel I have won some respect for this piece of advice. The young chap has gone remarkably curly since the bath. Looks as if he was going to Crufts or something.

Thursday April 8th

Relaxing after a night out at Ray and Alexa's. They have fabulous accommodation. Great couches. Big garden. Magnus became a tad over excited but coped fairly well. Just a bit juvenile. Anyway the window cleaners came today. I usually just ignore them. Magnus went woofing and bouncing about. All that jumping up and down meant he dribbled on the carpet. He really needs to learn to properly empty his bladder when he's out. He gets distracted by birds or noises and doesn't finish. Ah well. What do I know?

Friday April 9th

Received a postcard from my Dogparents Lorna and Stephen. They've been on a holiday in Comrie. They always send me a postcard. Never forget. It was of a furry thing. It was in the water and had no ears. They address my cards to Gordon because that is, of course, my middle name. Magnus was very interested but he can't read properly yet. It's not that he can't read, it's just he won't sit still long enough. He'll miss out on the classic stories about dogs, Call of the Wild, White Fang, Rinty, Marley and Me. One day he'll settle, I'm sure.

Magnus 2nd post / 22nd March

Monday 22nd March

She’s not here. We went to the beach again. We took Gloria who is a little white dog. She loves the sea. Got to run about but still not sure about the water. Monty showed off for Gloria. Don’t know why. She’s far to small for him.

She’s been away, for three darktime sleeps. She has a sister from another litter and she went to visit her. I wonder if I’ll ever see my brother and sisters again from our litter? When she came back Monty got all excited. Thought I’d try to outdo him. Bounced about woofing and getting toys.

Lesson 7: When they go away for a while always welcome them back with woofing and licks and toys. You get ham and cuddles and treats.

Wednesday 24th March

She noticed my eyes looked a bit red round the outsides. They have been a wee bit itchy and I’ve been rubbing them along the wall. My ears are itchy too. And my paws in fact. I can chew my paws and scratch my ears but itchy eyes are hard to deal with. Anyway I got taken to THE VET. I go quite a lot to get put on this machine and then they say I’ve put on another 2 kilos. They are very proud of my putting on weight . Monty says I’m at THE VET and awful lot. Monty talks about THE VET in hushed tones. I’m not very brave yet at THE VET. Monty pretends he’s brave but I know he’s not. He stands with his nose at the door trying not to watch what’s going on. He shakes. I’m sure he does. Anyway, I’ve got an allergy to something. Pills.

Lesson 8 : Do not take pills unless wrapped in ham or cheese.

She’s not happy. She’s washed all our bedding, towels and toys in case I’m allergic to soap powder. She’s stopped giving me grapes and won’t let me eat the plants in the house anymore. Says they’re not good for me. Pity. I enjoyed ripping up those plants.

Lesson 9 : Sometimes things you like are bad for you, which is a bit unfair if you ask me.

Thursday 25th March

Went for a very wet walk in the castle grounds. A big car went past and went right through a big puddle. Monty, Him and I all got very wet. The man's name was something that made Monty's ears stand up with interest. I missed it. Water in the ears.

Monty's Top Tips for Young Pups

Tuesday 30th March .....

Here are one or two things I've learnt and should pass on to younger dogs. Magnus doesn't listen. Already he thinks he's a bit of a star and doesn't need to conform. He'll learn.

BATHROOMS

These are particularly dangerous places for dogs. Here are some major tips I’ve picked up over the years.

• Never drink out of toilets. They frequently have smelly cleaning stuff in them which is not good for dogs.
• Keep away from the bath. I’ve tried to talk to Magnus about this but he just won’t listen. Baths are for humans. They are not for us. Magnus, and previously Morgan, likes to have a drink of warm water out of the bath while one of the masters is in it. This is not a good idea. At first the water may be fine but then they put soapy stuff in it. Also being in the vicinity of a bath makes the humans think that perhaps we should be in it too. Magnus should know this. When he was a small puppy he found himself in the bath when all he was doing was licking Ewen, who was pruning up nicely, in the warm water.
• Do not try and help the humans dry themselves. Licking them dry is a good idea for us but not for them.
• Keep away from the most dangerous thing in the bathroom……………..the walk in shower. Magnus has, despite warnings, actually stepped inside!!! This is just not on. By doing this we are opening the doors to being showered. Morgan used to do this frequently. He was particularly fond of rolling in foul smelling things. When we got home the mistress would point at the shower. Morgan would walk in. I have been known to do this too but have made my contempt felt by shaking myself dry along the hall and rubbing myself all over the furniture. Magnus needs to learn to be less chirpy about stepping into this trap. It has been discussed but once again ignored. I have maintained my usual pattern of moving swiftly past this room and ignore the humans when they are in it.

ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT

These are extremely dangerous for all animals at all times. They are even dangerous for humans when in the wrong hands or condition.

• Never, ever chew wires. You might yourself getting a bit of a shock
• Keep away from hoovers. These make terrible noises and things disappear inside them. I have had little piles of food stacked in various hidey holes. Pam comes past with her hoover (seldom away from her side) and they disappear. Magnus shows little regard for this especially when food could be involved. Instead of making an elegant exit, he dances round the thing and jumps out off the way. I have to admit a certain admiration for this. Every other dog I’ve known has been a bit scared of the things.
• Keep away from hair-dryers. They make a noise, send out hot hair and poof your coat up something rotten.

NOT TO BE CHEWED OR EATEN

This is a difficult area for dogs. Some things are just best avoided for varieties of reasons.

The following should be avoided at all costs because chewing or eating them really pisses off the mistress.

• Clothes of any sort. (and never give dirty underwear as a present)
• Shoes, boots and sandals. (slippers seem to be a free area)
• Carpets
• Furniture
• Electrical equipment ( see previous chapter)

The following should be avoided because they really aren’t good for you and can make you ill if chewed or eaten.

• Poo of any kind
• Household pot plants. Some of these, like peace lilies can make you very ill.
• Some food. I find this quite scarey but some food is not good for dogs. Chocolate is one, grapes are another. Magnus adores grapes but that has come to an end.
• Golf balls. In fact any ball of swallowing size.
• Dead things. They may smell and taste interesting but can contain bad things.
• Curry. Mick once ate some curry. Said his bottom was very hot for days.
• The testicles of older sleeping dogs. The response to this abuse is not good.
• LATE EXTRA : NEVER TRY THE ABOVE ON YOUR MASTER WHEN HE'S JUST OUT OF THE SHOWER. THE RESULTS ARE WORSE THAN THE ABOVE. (just seen Magnus do this. Do not try this at home)

And last but not least. Listen to your elders. We've been through it all and really do know one or two things.

Magnus 3rd post / 28th March

Sunday 28th March

Clocks changed last night. They got up really early though. Something about an anniversary. We picked up Gloria again and went to the beach. Gloria has lost a kilo. She’s on a diet. Isn’t it funny how humans go on about weight. I’ve to put it on. Gloria has to take it off. Is this because she’s a girl?

Lesson 10 : Girls think more about weight than boys.

Yipee! I like the beach now. I get to run about a bit and I’m not scared of the water any more. Gloria loves it and I reckon if a wee dog like her isn’t scared a big dog like me doesn’t need to worry. Of course Monty was showing off again. Charging in and out and getting very wet. We had breakfast and then we went back to the market. Lots of people stopped to pat me. I’m very impressive apparently.

I’m not sure about the patting though and don’t know what they’re going to do. You just see this hand approaching…….. One man was really nice. He said he had Wolfhounds too. He got right down on the ground and just let me sniff him. Wasn’t scared of him. Monty looked a bit annoyed. He usually gets the attention because he is so gorgeous. He just accepts patting as if he expects it. Gloria thinks all those legs and little things with wheels are a bit scarey. The things with wheels have human puppies in them and they reach out to grab you and make funny noises. Monty says to steer clear of them.

Lesson 11 : If a wee dog like Gloria is brave in the sea and at markets I shouldn’t worry. She’s about the size of a good lunch.

Lesson 12 : Keep away from human puppies. Apparently they get you into trouble one way or another. (I’m agreeing with Monty on this)

Lesson 13 : Sometimes older dogs do know best…..you just don’t tell them that.

Wednesday 31st March

It's snowing again. I love snow. haven't seen any for a few weeks now. Had to go out and play in it. Really helped the itchy bits. He wasn't too chuffed though since He had to take Monty and me out for a walk. Actually He's not too happy with me. I was having a wee play with him last night and tried to chew parts of him. Didn't work. He went very red in the face and shouted at me. I'm not used to being shouted at. Monty says I got off lightly and that it could have been a lot worse. What does he know?

First post by Monty

I am Monty and I am nearly eight years old in human years. I am a deerhound/greyhound cross. I have longish blonde hair and I am slim and very elegant. I have a very good life with Pam and Ewen. They allow a dog to be dog but with a lot of benefits. These include long walks, holidays (no kennels) good food, treats, toys, games and parties. I am very fond of parties. There is usually a lot of food and the guests are pleased to see me mingling with them. These two points together mean an evening of interesting tit-bits and treats. Once the treats are exhausted

I slip off to lay louchly on the couch.

Up until recently there was Morgan. He left one day after feeling very unwell. We hadn’t been the best of friends but we rubbed along well together and I really missed the little chap. I kept expecting him to come back and even buried a bone in case he did but he didn’t. Pam kept walking about whimpering like a puppy. I had to cuddle her a lot to make her feel better. I was just getting used to being top dog and only dog when Ewen came in with Uncle Mike and this thing. It was a puppy for God’s sake. My life was in ruins. The order of the house became chaos as this puppy took control of the kitchen. He pee-ed and widdled EVERYWHERE. I tried to be supportive but for goodness sake he couldn’t control his bladder. Fortunately he didn’t let dogDom down by doing the other in the house but I was just so not impressed.

Pam said I should remember how supportive Mick and Morgan were of me when I arrived and be that way with Magnus. This is his name. It’s Latin or something. Pam’s sister Linda suggested it as a name. They like names beginning with M. All the family dogs have names

beginning with M. Max, Mick, Morgan, Monty and now Magnus. We did have Kip too but she came to us late in her life. Divorce dog. Needed a lot of support from us chaps, particularly Mick.

That's me on the right with the old gang. I'm on the left, then Morgan, then Kip, then Mick. The two SAGAs together as usual. My full name is Montgomery Gordon of Alamein. Apparently I came home in Alamein week and Pam’s Dad had been there in something called a tank. His name was Gordon. It doesn’t begin with an M, so they added the name of someone else whose name did start with an M, for some reason. It’s all very confusing.

Back to Magnus. I realise that he is going to be so much bigger than me. I think I’d better establish myself as boss…after Ewen, of course. I offer help and advice but he ignores me. I try to show him how to behave. Like the day we went to the beach. I tried to show him that the sea needs to be controlled. You need to show it who is in control by running all over it and throwing it up in the air. He ran away. What can a dog do with a dog like that? Granted, he gave it a good woofing, but he didn’t stand his ground. He woofs at everyone who comes to the house. Apart from Lexi and Janine, he hasn’t got the sense to remember who are friends and need greeted with a nose in the crotch or a good licking and leaning into. He woofs at everyone else and then runs away. I give up. He does seem to have some sense when it comes to treats but in general I despair.

I have to go and lie down now. I have just had a telling off for taking Magnus’s chew bar. He had left it lying around and as far as I’m concerned, finders keepers. He tried to take it back but I told him in no uncertain terms to, “Bugger Off!” I don’t know if it was how I told him or the words I used but I got a lecture. I am feeling distinctly put out and must go and calm down on the couch. I swear my muzzle has got whiter since that boy arrived.

Links to friends of Monty and Magnus.

www.ewenforsyth.co.uk

www.merlinvet.co.uk

The first post by Magnus

I am Magnus. I am a wolfhound puppy. Apparently my proper name is something else but it’s too long and has a lot of ‘t’s in it. I am 6 months old and have been living with Them now for four months. It was difficult at first. I missed Mum and my family but we have to go out into the world and be dogs. They have another dog here. He’s called Monty. He’s a deerhound cross. You’d think he’d be friendly but he’s not. He’s really snappy when I sniff his bum or try to chew his tail or these funny balls he has. I don’t have them yet but they are growing. I’ve had a good sniff around down there and I’m sure there’s something happening. Anyway, Monty, he’s been here for years. He’s had other chums apparently, Mick and Morgan and Kip. None of them are here now but they have left smells and messages in the house and garden. They were very happy here so I should relax a bit. Monty must have been the new one once so you’d think he’d understand. I think he’s worried I’ll steal his bed or his couch. I think I will try this when I’m older but at the moment I’ll just wait.

So far things are pretty good. I have lots of soft beds and a good lot of toys and chews. I get to go out in the garden. I’m too young to go walks yet but now I’m six months old He says I can get out for little walks. Monty is really uppity about this. He gets to go for real walks. He gets to run about and chase those funny things with big ears and short tails. My tail is very, very long by the way. Thought you’d like to know. Back to Monty. What a show off, runs away and then comes running back when He whistles or shouts, then looks at me as if I was stupid. I’ll show him. When I’m big I’ll chase those furry things too but I’ll come back when I want to. So there!

I have noticed a few changes since I arrived. For the first six weeks of my being here, everything was white. It was very cold and wet and I loved rolling in it. Now everything is brown. She says it should be green but due to me peeing on it it’s not doing what it should. Also, I’ve discovered a wonderful new hobby. Well I think it’s wonderful but They don’t. I find a nice soft piece of ground with my nose and then sink my paws into it. If you pull your front paws back quite quickly it moves a lot of the ground out of the way. I did this for about the length of a short sleep. I was very pleased with the result. They weren’t. Monty just stood and shook his head. Very superior. Ah-ha. She said Monty had done that when he was a puppy too. That made him turn round and walk out of the kitchen. Pretended he hadn’t heard. But I did.
One day They took me to the “beach”. Didn’t know what that was. Do now. They had two friends with Them. Lexi and Ray. Love Lexi. She lets me play with her and gives me ham and chews. Ray is a big dog type. Keeps me in my place. Actually Ray would be a better big brother dog than Monty but you have to live with what you get. We had breakfast on this “beach”. It was very flat and the ground was sandy. At one side there was a lot of water. It kept chasing me. It wouldn’t stay still so I kept running away from it. It couldn’t catch me if I ran far enough. Monty ran about in it showing off as usual. Here he is in this picture telling me about past great beatings he's given the water. He was splashing and jumping and pretending he was a water star. Had to give the water a good woofing….from a safe distance.

Lesson 1 : Water at the beach doesn’t stay still. It runs away then comes back and chases you.

Had a visit from Janine the other day. She pops into see me a lot. She’s got two dogs too. She’s like a puppy sister. I get to roll about with her and chew her around a bit. Good fun all in all. One day I’ll get to meet, Harvey and Luca, her dogs and we’ll all run about together.

Lesson 2 : Females are more fun. They cuddle you and let you chew them and then they give you treats

Had a wonderful time this morning barking at the man next door. He was doing something on the other side of this large wooden thing. I felt it was my duty to let him know I was guarding our side and took great pleasure at giving him my best “Woofs”. She came out and rattled something at me and told me to be quiet. Felt quite put out considering I was doing Her a favour. Anyway, She rewarded me and Monty, though he hadn’t contributed at all, with some ham.

Lesson 3 : Go barking at someone…you might get ham to shut up.

Man came to work on the roof. I was introduced but I thought I’d keep my distance until I’m sure. She said he’d had a wonderful dog, a collie, whatever that is. Anyway, I gave him a good woofing but he just told me to be quiet. Looked at Her hopefully but no ham forthcoming.

Lesson 4 : Lesson 3 doesn’t always work.


Got a bit of a fright. Monty stole my chew bone. I need this for my gums and because I’m getting new teeth. She keeps finding teeth and making funny noises and saying, “Awhhhhh look,” and showing Him. I tried to get it back, the bone not the tooth. Monty gave me such a growling and snapped at me. One day I’ll show him. However, She came running up and gave Monty a telling off. I trotted away feeling a bit better. I mean I had got a fright. All I wanted was my chew bone. And Monty gets all bossy and possessive and alpha dog-ish. But he got a row. I got a new chew bar.

Lesson 5 : Out of bad things good things can come.

Did some yoga after the chew bar. It’s really good for the spine and limbs. I have mastered several positions now. I particularly like lying on my back and twisting my back legs to one side and my head and front legs to the other. Helps me relax

Thursday 18th March

She left early today. Said she was off to work. I have noticed that both of Them leave some days. It's great when they come back. They give you treats.

Lesson 6 : Let them go to work. When They return They give you treats.